We Pray for Our Children

We Pray for Our Children

Adapted from Ina J. Hughs

We pray for our children,
Who sneak popsicles before supper,
Who erase holes in math workbooks,
Who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
Who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
Who were born in places we wouldn't be caught dead,
Who never go to the circus,
Who live in an x-rated world.

We pray for children who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of Dandelions,
Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

We pray for those who never get dessert,
Who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
Who watch their parents watch them die,
Who can't find any bread to steal,
Who don't have any rooms to mess up or to clean up,
Whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
Whose monsters are real.

We pray for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
Who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
Who like ghost stories,
Who shove dirty clothes under the bed and never rinse out the tub,
Who get visits from the tooth fairy,
Who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
Who squirm in church and scream in the phone,
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything,
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who aren't spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children who want to be carried,
And for those who will never walk, or see, or hear, or learn,
And for those we will never give up on
And for those who don't get a second chance.
For these are our children.

We pray for them. We pledge our commitment to care for them.
We gladly accept responsibility for them.
We will make our world a safe home for them.
We will love them.

Amen.

I Saw What I Saw

Sara Groves wrote this song after a trip to Rwanda in 2007. My favorite line is when she sings, "Something on the road cut me to the soul." In the video, she mentions several of the things she saw on the road that cut her to the soul: neighbors carrying a friend to the hospital, a friend giving the shirt off His back, her son in a little boy's eyes. These words remind me of a parable told by Jesus Christ. A man was beaten up by robbers and left for dead on the side of the road. A priest saw him on the road and passed by on the other side. Likewise, a Levite saw him on the road and passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. In other words, "something on the road cut him to the soul." Were the priest and the Levite not cut to the soul when they saw the man on the side of the road? Surely they were, my guess is they were pretty compassionate dudes. So, why did the priest and the Levite choose to pass by on the other side? Why was the Samaritan the only one of the three who chose to show him mercy. I think you know why. As you journey through life and something on the road cuts you to the soul, why do you choose to pass by on the other side? Overwhelmed by your own life? Ignorant in knowing how to help? Unable to deal with interruptions to your schedule? Paralyzed by fear of the unknown? An eighteenth-century English philosopher named Edmund Burke once said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men [and women] to do nothing." My guess is you are a pretty compassionate person. Will you choose to act on your compassion or will you choose to cross over to the other side of the road?

Orphan Sunday

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I often hear people make this comment, "God has not called me to adopt."

They may be right; however, God has called them to care for the orphan. There is no doubt about it. You don't have to wait for a spiritual nudge or a special dream or a prophetic vision or a meaningful worship experience or an emotional video or an influential mission trip or a motivational sermon. In His Word, God "calls" each one of us to care for the orphan.

The calling is unmistakable.

Defend the cause of the fatherless, place the lonely into families, look after the orphan.

How will you respond to His call? Sponsor a child through Compassion International or World Vision. Give to a family who is currently in the adoption process. Pray about your family beginning the process of adoption or foster care. There are many ways you can respond. Ask our Father how He can use you to help care for His little ones.

You have been given a special calling.

Hosea 14:3 "In you the orphan finds mercy."

Happy Referralversary!

September 24, 2009 is a day that changed our lives forever. Shortly after noon, I received the phone call from our agency that we had received our referral. She said his name was Dagem Yetnayet. Karen and the kids were at the Louisville Zoo with some families from our home school group. They just happened to be eating lunch at the African Outpost. Fortunately, a good friend captured Karen hearing the news from me on the phone and also Karen seeing a picture of William for the first time on a friends husband's iphone.


Below are some pictures from our trip to the beach at the end of August. A phone call has become a child. A picture has become a son. Dagem has become William. Our family has become his African Outpost.

Laugh Out Loud

What causes you to laugh out loud? William has an Aunt Nanny (aka. Amanda Jones) who has a drawer full of Groucho glasses. This picture of William wearing a pair of her glasses reminded me of a sign that I saw on my honeymoon. Karen and I were walking on the streets of downtown Boston, wasting time in between a late lunch at Cheers and a baseball game at Fenway Park, when we came across a sign in front of an old church building. It read, "Laughter is the beginning of prayer." I had no idea what it meant and to be honest, I am still not sure what it means. But I really like the thought that it should be laughter that causes me to pray. I don't typically think in this way. More often than not, it is sadness or anxiety or difficulty or concern or hurt that causes me to pray. This world is so full of these things. But, perhaps as a follower of Christ, these should not be the things that cause me to pray. Just maybe it is laughter that should cause me to pray. Eugene Peterson paraphrases Matthew 5:4 in The Message, "Blessed are those who mourn right now, for one day they will laugh out loud." What if it were the coming of this day of laughter that caused me to pray? On this coming day, those who are hungry will be fed; those who are thirsty will receive water; those who are orphaned will experience family; those who are broken will find healing; and those who are poor will know the good news. What if I allowed the joy of this coming day to be my starting point for prayer instead of the sadness of the present day? In other words, what if I prayed daily, "Your kingdom come." Every time the hungry are fed, the thirsty receive water, the orphaned enjoy family, the broken find reconciliation, and the poor hear the good news, God's heavenly laughter breaks into our earthly reality. We get to experience the joy of that coming day every day as we care for William. I can't help but laugh out loud and according to that church sign, laughter is the beginning of prayer.

Extreme Peekaboo

On Saturday, William won the award for being the first Coffman child to receive stitches. He is very proud of this prestigious honor. Every time he raises his right arm, he gives a big thumbs up to show his approval. His right pointer finger was accidentally closed in a bedroom door during a game of peekaboo with siblings. The tip of this finger had to be surgically restored. The soft mitten cast is to keep him from messing with the sutures for the next two weeks. He really has been a champ through the whole experience and especially enjoys bonking dad in the face with his new weapon.

Brothers and Sisters

With each new child, we have arrived at a point in time when it is hard to remember what life was like before the addition of the newest one. We have reached that point in time with William.

Our little family has been so blessed by his addition that it is difficult to recall what things were like before his arrival. The greatest joy for me has been watching the interaction between the new brothers and sisters.

Not only will Bailey, JP, and Milbrey Ann argue over who gets to be with William, but William will scream for them to come to him when they are in another room. Most recently, due to William's ability to crawl up our stairs, we had to gate off the stairs. The sweetest moment will be when the older three are playing upstairs and William is downstairs standing at the gate yelling for his siblings. A very talented friend, Kristy Cope, took these pictures for us to celebrate William's first birthday. I thought she captured well the sweet relationship that is forming between these four brothers and sisters.

Happy Birthday Big Will

William turned a year old. He has been a Coffman living in the United States for a little more than three months now and he is already taking shape to follow in his dad's footsteps. Here were his stats at his initial checkup upon arriving in the states. On February 23, he weighed 18 lbs and 7 oz (20 percentile), he was 27.5 inches long (29 percentile), and his head size was 45.5 cm (59 percentile). On June 1, for his one year checkup, he weighed 23 lbs and 11 oz (64 percentile), he was 32 inches long (96 percentile), and his head size was 48 cm (90 percentile). There are no "Ethiopian growth charts," so these numbers are all based on the "American growth charts." Big Will has had quite a little growth spurt. He is truly becoming like his daddy: tall and thin with a big head.

Family Video 2010

William's Blessing

We have always known that our church family at Southside was a loving group of people, but we got to experience it on Sunday. Our good friends, Stan and Kelly Ferguson, invited the church family to their home for a time of blessing for William.

Kelly's dad, Jim Oldach, who is also one of the shepherds at Southside, shared a story from the life of Jesus Christ with the group and then prayed for us.

It truly was a "momentous event." It was a special celebration recognizing our adoption of William. He is no longer one of 143 million orphans in the world. He is one of 4 siblings in our house. He is no longer a picture of despair. He is a child of hope. Recently I read that when we are adopted into God's family through faith, we know that we will never be alone. The celebration at the Ferguson's house was a reminder to us that William will never again be alone. Not only is he part of our family, he is now part of the family at Southside. God does place the lonely into families (Psalm 68:6).

William's First Haircut

The "Infamous" Sost Gwadenyas

The guys in the above picture are "infamous."

What does infamous mean? sound bite Chevy Chase sound bites

They are known as the Three Amigos. Their names are Dusty, Lucky, and Ned. We found an Amheric version of the Three Amigos in Ethiopia. They are known as the Sost Gwadenyas. Their names are Eli, William, and Elijah.

One of the joys of the journey to meet our son, William, was being able to travel it with several other families. Two of the families with us were Chris and Stephanie Whyte and Don and Tina Hubbard. The Whytes adopted Eli and the Hubbards adopted Elijah. Eli, William, and Elijah are only a few weeks apart from each other in age. They are from the same hometown of Asela. You can see on the map below that Asela is about 175 kilometers south of the capital city, Addis Ababa. We had the opportunity to travel to the boys' orphanage in Asela with the Whytes and the Hubbards.

Asela is a special place to call your hometown. It is known for three important things. One, it's barley. We enjoyed some of the roasted barley grains during a coffee ceremony at the orphanage. Two, it's Olympic track athletes. According to our adoption coordinator in Ethiopia, 90% of the Olympic runners have come from Asela. Three, it is the birthplace of the Sost Gwadenyas. They have traveled similar roads. They have gone from being fatherless crib mates in an orphanage to becoming beloved sons in our families. May they always have a special friendship.

Yetnayet

Overwhelming.

That is the only way I know to describe the experience of meeting William's birth mother. Her name is Yetnayet (pronounced yet-night), which means "far away." We traveled by van about three hours outside of Addis Ababa to spend just a few short minutes with her at the orphanage in William's hometown of Asela.

Our conversation with Yetnayet happened through the help of a translator. Understanding was difficult at best. Really, the dialogue was quite anticlimactic. We already knew why she had relinquished William, so we just asked her some simple questions about him. We also gave her a photo album of our family that Karen had made. She was reserved and didn't have any special words for us to share with William one day. Even though she was a very strong woman, I am certain the whole process was just as overwhelming for her as it was for us.

I recently read a book by Miroslav Volf. He is a Professor of Theology at Yale Divinity School. Mr. Volf and his wife adopted a young boy who they named Nathanael. In his book, Free of Charge, he discussed his image of birth mothers before and after the adoption of their son. This is what he said before the adoption, "My image of mothers who relinquished their children for adoption, though not as bad as that of the fathers involved, was not exactly positive either. I could not shake the feeling that there was something deficient in such an act. The taint of abandonment marred it, an abandonment that could be understandable and was certainly tragic, but abandonment nonetheless. To give one's child to another, it had seemed to me, was to fail in the most proper duty of a parent: to love no matter what."

Following the adoption of his son, Mr. Volf received a letter from the birth mother in which she wrote these words to him, "It is hard to know that you have a child in the world, far away from you." In another letter she had written for Nathanael to read when he grows up, she wrote, "I did it for you," she wrote repeatedly, adding, "Some day you will understand."

The love of Nathanael's birth mother had transformed Mr. Volf's understanding. He concluded this about her, "She loved him for his own sake, and therefore she would rather have suffered his absence if he flourished than to have enjoyed his presence if he languished; her sorrow over his avoidable languishing would overshadow her delight in his presence. For a lover, it is more blessed to give than to receive, even when giving pierces the lover's heart. My image of birth mothers has changed: "She who does not care quite enough" has become "she who selflessly gives."

I am thankful for Nathanael's birth mother. She has given me words for every birth mother in her position. I think if Yetnayet had been able to share her heart with us that day, she would have also said, "It is hard to know that you have a child in the world, far away from you." Yetnayet means "far away." Indeed, she is far away from William, but not because she did not care quite enough, but because she selflessly gave.

Love At First Sight

My sweet wife is very expressive. This video captures her expression well as she met William for the first time. It was a surprise visit. We arrived to Ethiopia late on a Sunday night. We thought that we were going to be picked up after breakfast on Monday morning and taken to the place where William was staying. So, we were sitting in the courtyard enjoying the beautiful morning, when the van pulled up. We were gathering our things, preparing to go see William for the first time, when someone said, hey, there are babies on board. I scrambled to find my video camera and fortunately was able to capture this moment.

Meet William...

This is the Amharic name of our new son. Dagem William Coffman. Dagem is his given name (it is pronounced dag-M, emphasis on the letter M). William's nannies loved to get his attention by repeating daggie-daggie-daggie, it was very sweet. We had the opportunity to meet his birthmother (wow, more on that later) and she told us that she named him Dagem simply becasue she just really liked the name. William is my first name and is the name we will call him (I really like "Lil' Will" but Karen prefers "William").

This was one of Karen's favorite pictures from our first day with him in Ethiopia. Both he and Karen really liked the hat. He is a precious little boy. Even though he was sick with a cold most of the time we were there, he was still very content and happy.

This is a picture from our first meeting with him on Monday, February 15. Karen has already learned that the way to his heart is through his stomach. He loves to eat! He will fit right into the Coffman family.

This is a picture from my first interaction with him. He is very attentive and loves to be held. His first words were "da-da-da-da." Of course, he said these words when he reached for me, Karen, the nanny, his favorite toy, and my bowl of soup at lunch. These are pictures from our first day with William. We are happy to share them with you. We look forward to you meeting him in person.

Family Reunion

We made it home. What an incredible ten days! I was unable to blog while in Ethiopia. However, I will be posting details of our trip as I find the time over the next couple of days. This picture was taken at the Blue Grass Airport in Lexington, KY on Monday evening about 9:00 PM. What a blessing! It took us a little over 2 years to make this picture a reality. 783 Days Later. It was worth every day.

What Happens In Ethiopia, Stays In Ethiopia

I found this old picture the other day. It was from a mission trip to the Fiji Islands, one of my last excursions out of the country. I think we had a little too much cava that night. It is not often that you end up in a congo line with a bunch of guys. The funniest part of the picture is that my good friend, Gold Daniel, is leading the way. When I look at this picture it makes me think of the saying, "what happens here, stays here." That mindset is definitely not true for our trip to pick up William. We hope to be able to share all of it with you. Our story is just one page of a much larger story being written in Ethiopia. A story that many families before us began writing and that many families after us will continue writing. It is a story that does not need to stay in Ethiopia. It is a joy to share our one page of it with you.

I Will Just Tell Him It's Chi's Fault

Chi Ekwenye is "the Mother Theresa of Nigeria." Those were the actual words of the Dean of the UGA School of Social Work. I met Chi while she was working on her PhD from the University of Georgia. After her graduation, she returned to Nigeria to launch Right Steps, a human rescue mission focused on providing relief services for orphaned children and homeless women. She manages a residential facility called Susana Homes that receives children from birth to teens, rescuing them from a situation of being orphaned, destitute, or some state of being homeless. There are more than 50 children that currently live at Susana Homes. Even though she considers all of them her children, Chi has personally adopted three of them: Yana Sue, Hana, and Bobby. This is a picture of her three.


During a recent visit to the states, Chi brought gifts for our children. She wanted our three children to be connected to her three children through their outfits.


Chi is one of those people who comes into your life and causes your life to never be the same again. God used Chi to turn my heart toward Africa. Most likely, if I had never met Chi, I would not be preparing to meet William. I thank God for Chi. I have recently thought about how I would answer William if he ever asked me a question about why we chose to adopt him from Africa. I know what my response will be. I will just tell him it's Chi's fault.

Here is a video from the Pepperdine Lectureships of Chi receiving recognition for her work in Nigeria.



A team from the Southside Church of Christ in Lexington, Kentucky will be traveling to Susana Homes in October 2010 to build a new boy's dorm. The construction of this two story concrete block building will cost approximately $55,000 US dollars. As of February 2010, we have raised approximately $35,000. If you would like to donate to this effort, you can make a check out to the Southside Church of Christ and write Project SHOD in the memo line. Send it to the Southside Church of Christ, Project SHOD, 1533 Nicholasville Road, Lexington, KY, 40503.

The Other Picture

It is an amazing thing to know your son only through two pictures. The first picture was taken after William was brought to the orphanage in September. This picture was taken around Christmas time. We have studied these pictures a lot, hoping to learn his ways and his thoughts and his personality from still photos. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I am sure this picture is worth at least that many words, I just have no idea what they are right now.

The Richt Family Adoption

Coach Mark Richt has impacted more than the football field at the University of Georgia. His simple faith in God and his commitment to his kids has been a model for me. ESPN did a great job of capturing the heart of the Richt family with this video testimony. We can't wait to go and "swoop up" William.

Picture Perfect

William Coffman
Born on May 31, 2009
Ethiopia, Africa

Precious Child of God
Chosen Second Son
Beloved Baby Brother